“You remind me so much of your mother…”

Elsa C. Ketchum
May 27
4 min read

“You remind me so much of your mother…” she said to me, as she leaned in with a smile. “The way you write…and you’re so vulnerable like she was….you are just like her.”

The music was blasting and the cake was about to be served, and I was stopped right in my tracks.

“I am….just like her,” I whispered to myself.

I’ve never received a better compliment in the middle of a wedding reception.

I wonder how many times my mom cried in her career. I caught myself fighting back tears today with some work stress…and I can’t help but think of my mom working with all those men way back when and just being a total boss. From selling life insurance in Indiana to being a corporate trainer for Hyatt Hotels in Chicago, and then Hong Kong and Taipei.

And I’m her daughter. How lucky am I?

I wish I could call my mom like I used to. Or get her long emails in all capital letters (in college, my friends would see her emails over my shoulder thinking she was yelling at me…no not at all, it was just easier for her to read the bigger text). She always gave the best advice. She always knew just what to say. And she ALWAYS let me go on and on for hours about the same topics, friendships, issues, boys, you name it. It didn’t even matter what the topic was— she always listened. What I would do to have my talkative yet amazing listener mom back. Now I get her in the background, “let’s wrap this up, Kep” when I’m on the phone with dad.

It’s really true that you don’t appreciate what you have until it’s gone. Or maybe you do appreciate it, but you see the ways you could have appreciated it more or wish you had more time as time goes on. I’ve had a ring I’ve worn that was my mom’s since I was last home. It’s given me such peace knowing that my mom is always with me, even if her body may be failing her. All the lessons she taught me and engraining God’s word into my being…is all because of her.

Dad if you’re reading this, you get a lot of credit too, don’t get me wrong, but you also know who that Sarah was (and still is).

I catch myself complimenting strangers or leaving money for people, taking time to hear people’s life stories I just met all because of my mom. The way she cared so deeply about the random people she’d encounter, reminding us that nothing was random. Buying people gifts and writing notes and just listening to them go on and on about something. I pray I’m half the woman she is. Being told I’m like my mom could be like being compared to Wonder Woman. And on the days that are so hard, and I just wish I could call her and vent about my work stress, I’m so thankful I have dad. He’s always there. Just like mom was always there for me growing up. In all of her own issues. No matter how hard days were for her. Even if she was always late to pick me up from school. I could always come home and yap about my day for hours, and she would listen to every single world. Oh my gosh do I miss her.

So many people asked about my mom at this wedding I was at recently. It was such a great time catching up with childhood friends, but I’d be lying if a part of me wasn't sad every time someone asked me, “How are you, Elsa?! How is your mom??”

It’s like the kindest question someone can ask, and it’s not that I don’t want to be asked…it’s just hard. And it’s just sad.

But we still have her. She’s still with us. And if she knew dad let me me take her diamond ring, she would probably kill me. But that’s probably what makes me love her even more. It’s like the fear of God — the fear of Sarah Ketchum. And if you know her, and knew her in her heyday, you know what I’m talking about.

My dad recently sent me this photo of mom from her college years….I was shocked at the similarity of the photo taken of me recently.

There’s no coincidence we are related. (Even though Laura may still take the cake for looking more like mom!)

While a lot of days I may feel gypped that I don’t really get my mom anymore, I am lucky to still have her with us.

Why do I share this? Because she has made me who I am to my core. And probably without her being sick, I’d never fully grasp just how lucky I was and am to have a mom like her. She did her best with the tools she was given, she fought through crude comments, living overseas, working in another country — losing her dad so young, having babies in Asia, being diagnosed bipolar and becoming handicapped so young…my mom is my hero.

She is and will always be.

Thank you, dad, for all that you do for our family, picking up all the slack and caring for mom so incredibly well. I don’t know why we have had to watch you suffer, mom. Suffering makes zero sense and it honestly feels so cruel. But I have consolation in knowing that God is sovereign and God is keeping my mom alive for one reason or another. And one day it’ll all make sense.

And in the meantime, I just thank God I am like her and have so many of her qualities engrained in me. And I am so blessed to have so many other family members (shoutout to my aunties!) who have beautifully filled in the gaps where my mom hasn’t been able to.

Thank God for coming across photos like this that remind me that I am just like my mom 🤍