Peanut butter

Mom loved peanut butter. Jif in particular. She used to eat it sometimes with a chopstick, just out of the jar, or with a fork. I thought it was the weirdest thing. Like seriously, mom, stop embarrassing me. My friends are over!! She loved to have little bites of it here and there.

The other day I walked into Walmart, another one of my mom‘s favorite things, and I saw the walls of Jif lining the entrance way. I prefer natural peanut butter these days, but grabbed a jar because I missed her, and I knew she would want me to have some Jif in my pantry.

Grief is such an interesting thing. Does anyone else catch themself doing something or buying an item because it reminds them of their loved one?

A few days went by, and I realized I needed to eat something before a morning workout. I remembered I had that Jif in the cupboard.

Maybe this is how we keep our loved ones close. We cry when we need to cry, and we remember them, with all the big memories, but more importantly, in all the little ways. As my favorite college professor used to remind me, life isn’t just the big things — it’s the sum of all the little things.

So many of the reasons we love someone is because of all those little things.

All those quirky things.

All the seemingly insignificant things to anyone else — but it means the world to you.

It’s all the memories that embarrassed me when I was a kid, but now I catch myself doing!! I am my mother. Maybe I haven’t gotten to the point where I’m eating peanut butter with a chopstick, but I definitely leave social situations sometimes going, “Oh my gosh, I was just so weird. I shared too much. Why did I say that?? Mom would have totally been like that too!”

But that was her greatest superpower!

She always made people feel comfortable. She made people feel safe. And most of all, she made people feel so loved. No matter where she went.

I pray that I can live out that legacy of hers. Making the world a better place just by genuinely caring. “Think about how your behavior affects others” — one of Mom‘s most favorite quotes.

And I think that sometimes that means buying the Jif that reminds me of her, and also doing things for others when it reminds me of them. Just like she did. Like texting the Bible verse or buying the book for my neighbor or dropping off the gift bag for the friend going through a hard time.

Mom used to ALWAYS do stuff like that. She was always sending cards and notes, and buying her friends (and even people she had just met) little gifts. Sometimes it would be as silly as a pack of candy or a bag of Cheetos. And I’d think, “mom, again, embarrassing! That’s so weird.”

But now as a grown up, I can understand more fully why she did the things that she did…

“I got this because it reminded me of you.”

And that’s exactly why I bought the peanut butter.

It’s not the big things, but the little things that you do for others that show that you’re thinking of them and that you love them.

Even if it’s something as small as a jar of peanut butter for $2.98. It could mean more to someone than you’ll ever know.

I’m so grateful that my mom taught me these lessons, even if I didn’t know they were lessons at the time. She was always thinking of others and always asking God who she could encourage. And that’s the legacy of Sarah Ketchum.

And I want to be just like her.

Now let me ask you — what’s that one thing you still buy or when you see it, it makes you think of your loved one? Or something that you now do because they always did that? (Especially if it embarrassed you as kid!)

I’d love to know.

Sending extra love and comfort to anyone who’s grieving today 🤍